http://vombie.com/2010/05/13/paranoia-will/ Musings of a geeky gal Thu, 19 May 2011 14:25:49 +0000 hourly 1 http://vombie.com/2010/05/13/paranoia-will/comment-page-1/#comment-83 admin Thu, 13 May 2010 22:14:40 +0000 http://vombie.com/?p=386#comment-83 Yeah, I agree that it can definitely not be 'provoked' per se, but in this instance it was. Someone publicly claimed that I was crazy and psycho and had harmed a cat, then complete strangers made comments about going to 'slap that bitch' and thinly veiled death threats (taking me out to the desert and such). Normally, these types of comments would be the sort of thing that you'd possibly dismiss, maybe get angry about and tell them off, but due to some very bad past experiences these remarks instead opened up a floodgate of pain and fear. Sometimes you have to realize that you can be held liable for instigating hate when you make accusations against someone, and I even told the instigator that it was hurtful and asked them to stop. Granted, I asked them in a very dry manner rather than via an emotional appeal, but I would not have been able to deal with the situation at all if I'd opened up at that point. And while my rational brain of course knows that anyone who makes a comment like that is simply not worth my energy, by that time the triggers have snapped and the damage is done. Quite frankly, those comments did cause me a lot of duress and pain, and no one who made them was a decent enough human being to own up to that and/or apologize; this is what human beings have been reduced to. Yeah, I agree that it can definitely not be ‘provoked’ per se, but in this instance it was. Someone publicly claimed that I was crazy and psycho and had harmed a cat, then complete strangers made comments about going to ‘slap that bitch’ and thinly veiled death threats (taking me out to the desert and such). Normally, these types of comments would be the sort of thing that you’d possibly dismiss, maybe get angry about and tell them off, but due to some very bad past experiences these remarks instead opened up a floodgate of pain and fear. Sometimes you have to realize that you can be held liable for instigating hate when you make accusations against someone, and I even told the instigator that it was hurtful and asked them to stop. Granted, I asked them in a very dry manner rather than via an emotional appeal, but I would not have been able to deal with the situation at all if I’d opened up at that point. And while my rational brain of course knows that anyone who makes a comment like that is simply not worth my energy, by that time the triggers have snapped and the damage is done. Quite frankly, those comments did cause me a lot of duress and pain, and no one who made them was a decent enough human being to own up to that and/or apologize; this is what human beings have been reduced to.

]]> http://vombie.com/2010/05/13/paranoia-will/comment-page-1/#comment-82 Glenn W. Thu, 13 May 2010 20:47:48 +0000 http://vombie.com/?p=386#comment-82 I'm very analytical like you and always try to rationalize events. But sometimes there aren't flags or triggers. Sometimes it is just anomalous fucked up shit (or somebody putting up a facade to hide their true feelings). A bad data point that needs to discarded or averaged out with other data. It is going to take time for you to churn on this whole thing. Slightly distracting yourself helps.. watching a favorite TV show on DVD or something artistic or enrolling in ninja school :) I’m very analytical like you and always try to rationalize events. But sometimes there aren’t flags or triggers. Sometimes it is just anomalous fucked up shit (or somebody putting up a facade to hide their true feelings). A bad data point that needs to discarded or averaged out with other data. It is going to take time for you to churn on this whole thing. Slightly distracting yourself helps.. watching a favorite TV show on DVD or something artistic or enrolling in ninja school

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